Interesting, reading this thread. when I was young, I had to shoulder a lot more burden than a child should as well as some of you. I was *never* going to get married (root of all evil) and certainly never going to have kids. I loved kids (actually, think I loved them more then than I do now
); I was very nurturing, protective, wanted to give kids the best in life-- things I didn't get. But I just didn't want any kids of my own. I knew I'd be a terrible mom.
Fast forward not as many years as you'd think.... no one was more surprised than me to see me get married (elope) at 23, and have my first kid at 28. Up until I was 27, I was still swearing never never never for the kids.
I think, now, I don't want to surround myself with kids quite as much as I used to-- I crave my time away from kids. seeing as I work all day with kids, and have my own three that I am constantly with (and a husband who works long hours, so it's usually just me, and no family/babysitters etc). It gets to be too much for me. Having no time away from kids doesn't allow me to be the kind of mom I'd like to be (one with a little more patience). But I wouldn't change having my kids. It is a huge, life-changing decision, and sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it, but I wouldn't change it. It has been a cycle of growing though, and I had a really hard time with having my identity changed to "mom." I have been working hard these past few years to get some of my own identity back. "Mom" is definitely a big part of my identity, but it is not all that I am, nor all I aspire to be.