More contemporary fantasy: you could try:
Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind - it's the first in a series, though the rest haven't been published yet.
Scott Lynch's Gentleman Bastard series (in progress) and Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel series may not be exactly what you're looking for, tone-wise, but both worth a look for how contemporary authors are dealing with these themes. Also cracking good reads in their own right. I think they're all first person, though.
I'll second (or third) Lois McMaster Bujold, though I think the coming of age themes are probably better covered in the SFF than the fantasy.
Last edited by libraryaddict; 06-13-2009 at 12:45 PM.
Reason: typo
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