Quote:
Originally Posted by tsgreer
I recently retired. I was looking forward to the first snow this year; thinking that it'd finally be my friend. Pictured myself sipping cheap coffee, staring out the window like some wise old mountain hermit while a storm raged. Raising my eyebrows at the people driving way too fast on slick roads.
No commute. No ice. No white-knuckled death drive to work. That was part of the dream.
Then today drops the first big snow of my retirement. I should be celebrating! I should be dancing in my slippers! Instead I’m looking out at my driveway, straight at my giant rented dumpster like it’s some doomed ship taking on water. I ordered it because the weather has been freakishly warm. I got tricked into thinking I should clean up my garage and fix my yard like a responsible youngish old guy.
But here’s the punchline. The dumpster charges by weight. They pick it up tomorrow. And every inch of this storm is stuffing itself into every nook and cranny of my dumpster like it’s trying to qualify for world’s heaviest frozen sponge.
Mother Nature coulda waited one more day. Just one. But nah, she clocked out early and dumped a wet blanket straight into my retirement budget. 
This is why I shoulda been writing crappy pulp stories instead of being responsible. Ugh! I guess the universe really likes its jokes cold.  |
Just the stories/experiences you've been through, you write it, I'll buy it. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry, my inappropriate laughter won out
