Quote:
Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward
They have to fight through the existing squirrel forces continually planting acorns and pecans in the yards around here. I've told them if they let Marc's squirrels in, I'll burn down the trees.....
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RWood
You are perhaps forgetting that RSE is protected by the world famous Legion of Llamas? No squirrel attack has ever been successful against them.
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Gertrude Pstein once wisely wrote "A squirrel is a squirrel is a squirrel is ARRRRGGHH! They're eating my face!". Montsnmags Enterprises is an equal opportunity employer, and all varieties of squirrels are welcome to seek gainful employment with us in individual or unionised form. Without going into too much detail on private contracts, subcontracts, and "contracts", I'd like to advise that Montsnmags Enterprises has gained a complete and utter (and, of course, totally evil) monopoly on all squirrel-based services throughout the multiverse. Naturally, as in any monopoly, this will mean certain departments' and subdivisions' disputes and campaigns effectively have Montsnmags Enterprises actively participating in wars against itself. My squirrels enjoy the occasionaly stoush. Circle of life. It's all a rich tapestry.
It is important, however, to highlight that though a squirrel is a squirrel is a squirrel is ARRRGGHHH! My face!, that of all inevitabilities in the multiverse - be they death, taxes, supernova, Chevy Nova, entropy, bad movie remakes, or that you will at some time between this particular universe's Big Bang and its Last Cigarette attend a Montsnmags Party - the
Pirate Ninja Squirrel supersedes all. They are the alpha and the omega. They are the beginning and THEY WILL BE YOUR END! The "dark matter" and the "dark energy" of the universe - that 90%+ of missing "stuff" in the multiverse that, to give you a sense of scale, not only holds galaxies together but drags clusters and superclusters of galaxies together and sometimes beyond an entire universe's event horizon...yep,
Pirate Ninja Squirrels.
They can no more be beaten than your average hand-formed clumping of delicately crystalised water can relax for a few hours on a deck chair on the lava-lapped shores of a post-death retirement village for the damned. They don't win; they just
are.
Saying this, however, it should be noted that the limits of Montsnmags Enterprises, while parametered by very few of your usual quantum super-and-silly-string dimensions, make us not so much (by which I mean, not at all)
employers of any
Pirate Ninja Squirrel in either group or individual form. It is merely that certain discordant anomalies (Montsnmags Parties), chaotically serendipitous chemical events (Zany Carter Deluxe), and vanguard developments in our Industrial Military Complex Advancement Department (for example, the Higgs Bosonic Hunting Rifle) have placed our endemic presence throughout the multiverse in the unique position of being in accord and assistance with the actions and perhaps even the unknowable "aims" of the all-pervasion that is the Pirate Ninja Squirrels.
"Marc's squirrels" are certainly defeatable (if only by another division of Marc's squirrels), but the PNS have no word for defeat, and their word for Legions of Llamas is "Yummy!".
This delusion has been brought to you by the colour ZORANGE, the number ELEVENTY, and the letter PORTUGAL!
Cheers,
Marc Lawrence
CEO - Montsnmags Enterprises
"WE WILL DESTROY YOU!...or possibly invite you to the previous Party"