[pdurrant]

Originally Posted by DNSB

mandella

While I win, I will mention the marvellous song "The Reluctant Cannibal" by Flanders and Swan. You need to listen to a performance for the best effect, but I'll quote the lyrics anyway.

Spoiler:

Seated one day at the tom-tom
I heard a welcome shout from the kitchen
Come and get it
Roast leg of insurance salesman
A chorus of yums ran round the table
Except for Junior, who pushed away his shell
Got up from his log, and said

"I don't want any part of it"
What, why not?

I don't eat people (hey?)
I won't eat people (huh?)
I don't eat people (I must be going deaf)
Eating people is wrong (It's wrong?)

Don't eat people (Have you gone clean out of your mind?)
I won't eat people (What's the matter with the lad?)
Don't eat people (He keeps on repeating)
Eating people is bad

But people have always eaten people
What else is there to eat?
If the Juju had meant us not to eat people
He wouldn't have made us of meat!

Don't eat people (Oh no, not again)
I won't eat people (All the day long)
Don't eat people (He keeps on repeating)
Eating people is wrong

Well I, I never heard a more ridiculous idea in all my born days
To think that a son of mine should grow up to be a sissy
Me, chief assistant to the assistant chief
I suppose you realise, son, if this was to get around
We might never get self-Government?

I won't eat people

Have you been talking to one of your mothers again?
You're not getting to be one of these cranks
Who think that eating people is cruel, are you?
Seeing the man sitting in the pot and you think he's suffering
Oh, it's not like that at all, why

He's just had an invigourating chase through the forest
He's sitting there in the nice warm water
With all the carrots and dumplings and things
He's thinking, oh, the pleasure and happiness
I'm going to give to a heap of people
That man in the pot there, he enjoys it

Eating people is wrong

Look son, son, I admire your sincerity
Always be sincere, whether you mean it or not
But you're young, you're young
When you're young you think you can change the whole world overnight
Even eating people, I know, I've been young myself
Take it from your old dad, you've just got to learnt to take the world as it is

I won't let another man pass my lips

I know why you say don't eat people, because you are a coward, Francis
That's your trouble, yes, a yellow livered coward
You wouldn't mind eating people if you weren't afraid of ending up in the pot yourself
How despicable, if you go on like this you're liable to get me into hot water

I won't eat people (that's enough)
I don't eat people (I don't want to)
Eating people is wrong (communist!)

Going around saying, don't eat people
That's the way to make people hate ya
We always have eaten people, always will eat people
You can't change human nature!

I won't eat people
I don't eat people
I won't eat people
I don't eat people (Must have been someone he ate)
Eating people is out!


I give up, I give up, you used to be a regular anthropophagi
If this crazy idealistic idea of yours was to catch on, I just dunno where we would all be
Just about ruin our entire internal economy
Fortunately, I suppose it's, I suppose it's catching on isn't really very likely
Why, you might just as well going around saying don't fight people, for example

Don't fight people? Don't fight people!? (Laughs)

There, imagine, there, you see, all part of the same fantastical impossibility
That's my boy

Ridiculous!!!!