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"oggg gnnak gmmmnadess. Goow gnp gee mphhn ggh rrrer!" "Oh thank goodness. Now get me out of here!" translated the dentist who was still loitering with intent.
"I need a little help from you. A few of us and some llamas plan to free the (mostly) innocent, to unmask evil, to identify moles and maybe catch a few good shows," started Panaborg-B acting as if he completely understood exactly what LazyScot was saying, but wanted his assistance before he'd release him.
"Nghmph uungh? G Nggmph ghwwt fgnhmmph nmphf Gy gnnm ghwwwf gfff. GOOW NGHHSM GEE!" shouted an increasingly agitated LazyScot, for whom the potential for continuing under the care and attention of the staff did not appear to be highly desirable. "Help you? I remember what happened last time I was on a trip with you. Now Untie me!" translated the dentist.
"You see, we have a convenient window about now as Dr Camembert is away on holiday, and since he's in charge… Well you know the saying – whilst the cat is away, the mice will play. That and the fact the laddy on the door managed to sneak a couple of ZCDs from the doctor's stash. So if you'd be willing to help…."
"JLKADSJ FKKKS ASDKKK" shouted an agitated LazyScot. "Ummm. Since this is a family forum, I don't think I should translate that," said the dentist, "but he did indicate he'd like to be untied."
"You see, you would be helpful, but if we let you out, then your disappearance may be noticed. And since there is a mole here, well it would cause us problems. Now that risk is worth it if you help us, but otherwise…"
"ngg gfff hgh Gy nmphfg goo ffmphg ffoo, fgphff geeww gaad m meeepf fpfpp go gfff gfnmphf gffng gvve fghnmf." "How about if I agree to help you, after I've made a quick trip to the new Writers' wing they've built?" came the translation as everyone stared expectantly at the dentist.
"If they notice you are gone, they are bound to search all the wings—and I really don't want you telling them what I'm planning. And anyway that would be a silly thing to do."
"ng gmphf gf faaf fnmghph? Gaagny, foo faaf gnmph gyy gamph ghee gf gfhhhd. Gan g'll gnmph gfagh ga goon g'f nmagnn n fnmff foo," mumbled LazyScot as everyone turned towards the dentist. "And silly is bad because? Anyway, you can take my place here in the bed. And I'll come back as soon as I've finished and help out."
"That is a very good point. Will you give me your word that you'll to help us if I let you go?"
LazyScot nodded, at least partly because he was bored speaking in mumble, and nervous that the dentist might start wanting translation fees (and he was clean out of bacon). Pandaborg-B released him, taking LazyScot's place on the bed to cover his trip to the Writers' wing.
"Won't the orderlies sound the alarm?" asked LazyScot as he prepared to leave.
"And admit that one cute and cuddly Panda beat up three burly bouncers? If they think you're still in here they'll stay quiet. It's just fortunate there's no video surveillance here."
"I'd better put the gag in place, just in case."
It must be said that, had Pandaborg-B not been tied down already, it is unlikely that LazyScot could have completed this particular part of the disguise. And with that, he swiftly left the room, carrying the USB key he had loaded whilst at the secret Google research establishment. But just before he closed the door, he put his head back round and said, "I may be some time – I have a number of things to post…"
Given the somewhat agitated nature of Pandaborg-B's response to this parting remark, it was probably just as well, given the family nature of the forum, that the dentist had been called away to perform an emergency scale and polish.
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