Coming to your home soon, the all new intelligent Amazon spy.
Conversational - Alexa+ engages in natural, flowing conversations that feel genuine.
We can use that to mimic your voice, sign you up to services you didn't ask for and then use a simulation of your voice to prove you did ask for it!
Personalized: Alexa+ learns from you and the more you use it, the more personalized it gets— understanding everything from your favorite entertainment to your family’s dietary preferences, allergies, and weekly traditions.
The more you use Alexa+ the more and more data we can steal of yours, but wait not just yours but anybodies that is within range of Alexa+, but wait we hear you cry you already did that with Alexa! yes friends you are right we did but Alexa+ is much more efficient so you get to give up much more of your private conversations and data!
Gets things done: Alexa+ acts on your behalf, handling everything from date planning and gift shopping to travel arrangements and study help. From simple tasks to complex projects, it provides assistance you can trust.
Oh sorry did we say you can trust? Silly us that was a typo, what we meant was you can now allow Alexa+ to act on your behalf, it provides assistance you cant trust, but you bought Alexa so hey you don't want to think for yourself anyway do you? Oh and we cant be held liable when Alexa+ acts on your behalf because she heard you say you wish someone would sort out Bob at work.
Even smarter: Alexa+ combines vast knowledge with an approachable personality, making generative AI feel natural and accessible. Helpful intelligence ready whenever and wherever you need it.
Thats right we've made Alexa+ even better at scraping and stealing data from other websites, and her answers will sound so lifelike you can definitely trust the information she is giving you, honestly it's fine you're perfectly safe pouring that boiling water into your ear to clear the wax out would someone as approachable as Alexa+ lie to you?
Oh come on, you want to blame us for Bobs unfortunate 'accident', the three hundred dollar a month adult bookstore subscription you apparently didn't ring up and subscribe to and that fact you melted your ear drum on us?? You're the one that listened to a little black box with pretty flashing lights!
