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My wife and I were in the south of France several years ago and had stopped one afternoon for a glass of wine at a beach side bar on the road back to Cannes. We got a table, ordered our wine then I excused myself to go to the bathroom.
Well this place only had a single bathroom; thus it was coed and you had to wait your turn to go in. When I got there someone had just gone in and, as I waited, this elderly woman lined up behind me. Since, by the look on her face, she clearly had to go urgently, I decided to let her go in front of me. So, when the door opened and the occupant walked out, I turned to the woman and say 'after you'.
But my French is pretty much a disaster and instead of saying 'apres vous' I got rattled and said 'avec vous'.
When I got back to the table, I told my wife I was lucky I didn't have a black eye.
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