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DNSB · 08-18-2023, 12:24 AM

James was a talented pianist, but just wasn't top tier in his talent. He had plenty of smaller venue gigs, but every time he auditioned for large concerts, he was softly rejected as being "so close, but the other person was just a tad better".

One day he was at a carnival, and for laughs he went to the crystal ball reader. She asked several questions, and then asked, "Tell me James, what is it that you most desire."

James responded, "To be the best piano player in the world." She spent several minutes gazing into the ball, and then said, "Go see Opporknockity. He lives in the Bronx." James tracked the man named Opporknockity down, and it turned out he was a piano tuner.

He went to him and asked him to tune his grand piano. Opporknockity looked him over carefully, and in a quiet voice, said, "I must hear you play first." They went to Jame's apartment, and James played Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 3. Opporknockity listened, occasionally muttering "yes, yes" or "I see."

When James was done, Opporknockity said, "I can help you, because you are already very, very good. You just need... something extra. I will tune your piano, and when you are famous you will pay me $100,000. But, you must ALWAYS use this piano, and I can only do this ONE time." James agreed.

A year later, James was playing some of the largest classical concerts in the world, as well as solo performances at sold out, large venues. He always had his piano shipped to the venue in advance. Despite this rough treatment, it never went out of tune. He had four albums break sales records. He had happily paid Opporknockity.

This went on for years. Finally, he was playing Carnegie hall, sold out with many of the most rich, famous, and powerful people in the world attending. But when the piano was being put on stage, it slid down the ramp, crashed, and broke apart, completely ruined. The stage manager was deeply apologetic, but assured him that their grand piano was perfectly tuned and serviceable. James knew that he was in trouble.

He called Opporknockity and asked him to come tune the piano. He refused. James offered him a million dollars, and still Opporknockity refused. James begged, saying that he would be embarrassed in front of the whole world!

Finally, Opporknockity said, "I am sorry, sir, but Opporknockity tunes but once in a lifetime."

08-18-2023, 12:24 AM	#174
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 46,797 Karma: 169712580 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	James was a talented pianist, but just wasn't top tier in his talent. He had plenty of smaller venue gigs, but every time he auditioned for large concerts, he was softly rejected as being "so close, but the other person was just a tad better". One day he was at a carnival, and for laughs he went to the crystal ball reader. She asked several questions, and then asked, "Tell me James, what is it that you most desire." James responded, "To be the best piano player in the world." She spent several minutes gazing into the ball, and then said, "Go see Opporknockity. He lives in the Bronx." James tracked the man named Opporknockity down, and it turned out he was a piano tuner. He went to him and asked him to tune his grand piano. Opporknockity looked him over carefully, and in a quiet voice, said, "I must hear you play first." They went to Jame's apartment, and James played Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 3. Opporknockity listened, occasionally muttering "yes, yes" or "I see." When James was done, Opporknockity said, "I can help you, because you are already very, very good. You just need... something extra. I will tune your piano, and when you are famous you will pay me $100,000. But, you must ALWAYS use this piano, and I can only do this ONE time." James agreed. A year later, James was playing some of the largest classical concerts in the world, as well as solo performances at sold out, large venues. He always had his piano shipped to the venue in advance. Despite this rough treatment, it never went out of tune. He had four albums break sales records. He had happily paid Opporknockity. This went on for years. Finally, he was playing Carnegie hall, sold out with many of the most rich, famous, and powerful people in the world attending. But when the piano was being put on stage, it slid down the ramp, crashed, and broke apart, completely ruined. The stage manager was deeply apologetic, but assured him that their grand piano was perfectly tuned and serviceable. James knew that he was in trouble. He called Opporknockity and asked him to come tune the piano. He refused. James offered him a million dollars, and still Opporknockity refused. James begged, saying that he would be embarrassed in front of the whole world! Finally, Opporknockity said, "I am sorry, sir, but Opporknockity tunes but once in a lifetime."