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Dearly departed, we gather together on this glorious day, in sight of Naked Truth and the Great Spagatini, to honour this sock and that one, too. To join the two ends of the whole. To hold dear in holy kinship both such and stuff. To sanitize the holy infections. To spread the meaning of peanut butter on spam. And to glorify the difference between a duck. Lo!, these many years have the senses deteriorated through lapse and attrition. The terrible windings of mindless sensations wind their horrid meanings in disjointed sentences. No more! No more, we say! The mindless wanderings of the wicked in our midst shall cease! And the springs of the righteous shall spew forth their bounty and all things will once again be sprinkled or nicely marbled.
Bring forth the beloved couple! Cast upon them the wine! Embellish them with the fluids from the sacraficial llama! I pronounce it: union is upon you!
Let us pray.
Our Pasta, we come together this day to honour you and offer you our very best wishes. Blessed are those that chew their food and dance slow. Amen.
You may now shronky.
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