Quote:
Originally Posted by DiapDealer
You seem to be disagreeing with me and then agreeing with me. 
Perhaps the difference is that while you seem to be willing to accept that change will always happen organically, I, on the other hand, seek to effect change (in myself). Not because I seek to feel pressured, or because I need to prove myself, but because for me, not seeking change is dying. So while I often read for pure enjoyment, it's not the only way (or the only reason) I read. I'll sleep when I'm dead. Until then, I'm going to seek out chaos and change. In my reading, and in all the activities that bring me satisfaction. |
I carry the chaos and change within me, I don't need to seek it out. Perhaps that's the difference between us. There is always an inner turmoil in me, I'm never at peace, never content, no matter how stagnated my life may seem outwardly. Therefore I never feel the slightest need to challenge myself - I'm already overwhelmed as it is. Most of the time I feel like I'm sitting on an active volcano that may erupt at any moment. So I seek an outward status quo, because there will never be one within me, and I can't cope with both inner and outer chaos.