i contacted kobo support assuming after i tried everything i have already tried i would be in doing weeks of warranty waiting.. im happy to report this is not the case.
i did the manual factory reset (not the factory reset that is available in the ereader itself, but using the buttons for 30s) and it works now.. it also deleted the nickelmenu (which the other factory reset did not).. so hopefully anyone who reads this over the years will read down to this resolution.
im not going to bother with the nickelmenu going forward.. though i don't think that had much to do with it.. but just in case as most of the options that i thought didn't exist.. do exist in the base software.. or at least everything is "good" enough i suppose.
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