Quote:
Originally Posted by ApK
Huh? What wrong with asking for cooperation? Man or woman? Is just everything a sexist insult?
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Nope and honestly, I'm the last person you'll find that ALWAYS finds everything a sexist insult. Truly.
But there is simply something--I think you'll find that the phrasing, between men of similar business rank, let's say, or near-as, and the way that's said and put, between men in business and women--it's always stated differently.
A man will say to another "okay, let's split the baby," or something like that. They'll say "let's reach an accord." "let's strike a deal" and the like.
To a woman, they'll say "why can't you BE MORE COOPERATIVE?"
It's not the same. I spent 3+ decades as an executive, in a males-only biz, pretty much and it's just not. You can write me off as some loony if you wish, but it's like...for example, in the 80's and even well into the 90's, it was perfectly commonplace for me to go to a business meeting--mind you, I was a Sr. Veep--not someone in the pink ghetto--and the intros would go like this (pretend my name is Suzie Smith, right?)
"Fred Smith, this is Bob Jones. Bob and Fred, this is Michael Jakes. Michael, Bob and Fred, this is Jeff Jason. And Fred, Bob, Michael and Jeff, this is Suzie."
No last name. Never an equal. Never acted like I was entitled to one--even though some of those people would be reporting to me, answerable to me, on a job. It got to the point that every single time that happened, I would stick out my hand, immediately and go down the line and say "I'm Suzie Smith. Great to meet you." "I'm Suzie Smith, glad to have you working with us."
I once had a business associate pull
this one--he introduced my then-boss and me to a third party thusly:
"This is Suzie and Fred Smith." The schmuck I was introduced to thought I was
married to my boss for the next 3 meetings.
Sure--I don't expect
you to notice it. But when you're standing there, it's hard not to. In a million years, ask yourself if a male VEEP at a company would
EVER be introduced by first-name only. Ask yourself if you've ever,
ever heard an exec ask another male exec to "just be more cooperative," rather than far more respectful phrasing. I get it--you think it's picayune stuff--but it's not.
Hitch