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Old 12-11-2021, 07:37 PM   #135460
DNSB
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Enter the Bulwer-Lytton contest where www means "wretched writers welcome"

For those who are not familiar, the opening sentence of Edward Bulwer-Lytton's Paul Clifford is quoted below:

“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the house-tops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”

The 2021 winner:

“A lecherous sunrise flaunted itself over a flatulent sea, ripping the obsidian bodice of night asunder with its rapacious fingers of gold, thus exposing her dusky bosom to the dawn’s ogling stare.”

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