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To do what you want you absolutely have to use paragraph styles in your docx document. Using the toolbar for formatting, and just hitting Enter or Shift-Enter for spacing just won't do it. Take the tab key off the keyboard and throw it away. Learn how to use styles, then develop custom styles that have the appearance and spacing you want, and most of this problem will go away. The settings in the paragraph styles will become styling elements in the html inside the epub. So do all your indents and spacing in the styles.
With Writer you can make a template with your ebook styles, and either use the template to start a new work, or copy the styles into another document. I'm sure Word has something similar. So you don't have to invent the styles over and over again, after working to get them just right.
Another good practice: in Word (or Writer or whatever), adjust your manuscript page size and font size to what you want to see on the reader. Try to make the page you are editing look like what you will see on the device. You don't have to write the whole book this way, but it will quickly test the settings you are using for how they will work on a small screen. What looks good on letter or A4 can quickly become horrible on an e-reader.
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