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Oh, and you know those staplers that sit on your desk - I set mine on the desk and the stapler works fine. If I hold it in my hand and use it the staple goes all warpy and doesn't penetrate the paper. Why is that? And why is it that whenever I want sushi for dinner, my wife wants pizza? Is there some deeper meaning there that I should glean? And what it is with Columbus Day? Like, we need a whole day to celebrate the guy? After 500 years can we ever just move on to something like Neal Armstrong Day or something?
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