Quote:
Originally Posted by pshrynk
What I'd really like to talk about is flying cars. I mean, when are the farking things coming out? We were promised flying cars by 2001. And nothing! Oh, yeah, you can get a flying car by combining a rolling car and a trebuchet, but the landings are miserable and quite frequently on top of something that someone is going to complain about having a car sitting on top of and besides, the range is sort of limited. And speaking of trebuchets, what is up with all these municipal ordinances about siege engines in city limits? I mean, really, don't the cops have better things to do than running around giving out "citations" about watermelons being flung against the wall of the high school across the busiest road in town? It washes off, and those were loud motorcycles which were probably breaking some sort of ordinance about noise and beside that it was just a few ranging shots, anyway. And what's up with the poor quality of watermelons these days? I mean really, how can you expect to have a good watermelon if the danged things just break a plate glass window, rather than splooshing against it and making an interesting pattern? If you buy watermelons from the grocery store that are marked down, shouldn't they be near rotten by then?
Or at least theoretically.
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Don't get me started on watermelons, $6.99 each in the middle of spring, but cantalopes were 97 cents at Publix yesterday, and all of those beans, dried beans, canned beans, green beans, 3 bean salad, which is really just a bunch of undercooked pole beans marinated in italian dressing, and that is the only thing that qualifies it as a salad is the fact that it is wearing dressing, while the frozen turkey in the deep freezer is wearing nothing but a white plastic bag and a yellow net, while in its innermost innerds it carries the organs it was born with, which were cruelly ripped out and then stuffed back in, which is ironic, seeing as how you then have to pull out the innerds again to insert the stuffing, but I prefer dressing in a pan without all the icky turkey juice seeping out into the stuffing, you kids come down from that tree and get washed up for dinner, you can't have pumpkin pie until you finish your turkey, that'll settle you down and put you to sleep, so I can sit down here and get some rest and watch my stories, who left the water running on the hose pipe, tell your brother to go turn off the hose, bring me a glass of iced tea and some Excedrin, what do you mean water is shooting out around the hydrant where the hose broke off, don't make me have to put my shoes back on and get up from here, just to give you all a whipping, just wait til your daddy gets home.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjh215
I think pshrynk was being delivered to the mental ward one day, and a patient suddenly threw a fit and the escorts were forced to abandon him. In a strange twist of fate a new doctor was starting that day and pshrynk was mistaken for him by staff. My concern is that in some padded room some where is the true pshrynk, currently doped up on meds for his dillusions...
-MJH
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They are turning the whole building that I work in into a ped psychiatric hospital. My division is the only one not moving. I wonder if we will be classified as inpatient or outpatient?
