If you don't need Kobo Desktop, you can upload books over FTP (and use NickelMenu to force a rescan).
If you do need Kobo Desktop, you might be able to trick it into using the remote device with osxfuse and sshfs, but I'm not sure if that'll work, especially on a M1.
If you use Calibre heavily, @sherman's Kobo-UNCaGED might be a good option for you.
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