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Wetdogeared · 03-26-2009, 05:19 PM

The Parti Rhinocéros or Rhinoceros Party of Canada is now defunct but it was in operation from the 1960's to 1990's. They ran candidates in 7 elections, but none were elected. They promised to keep none of their promises.

A list of some of their platform promises included:

Spoiler:

Repealing the law of gravity
Providing higher education by building taller schools
Instituting English, French and illiteracy as Canada's three official languages
Tearing down the Rocky Mountains so that Albertans could see the Pacific sunset
Making Montreal the Venice of North America by damming the St. Lawrence River
Abolishing the environment because it's too hard to keep clean and it takes up so much space
Annexing the United States, which would take its place as the third territory, after the Yukon and the Northwest Territories (Nunavut did not yet exist) in Canada's backyard, in order to eliminate foreign control of Canada's natural resources
Ending crime by abolishing all laws
To provide more parking in the Maritimes and to create the world's largest parking lot respectively, paving the Bay of Fundy and the province of Manitoba
Turning Montreal's Saint Catherine Street into the world's longest bowling alley
Amending Canada's Freedom of Information Act. "Nothing is free anymore; Canadians should have to pay for their information."
Making the Canadian climate more temperate by tapping into the natural resource of hot air in Ottawa.
Storing nuclear waste in the Senate. "After all, we've been storing political waste there for years."
Adopting the British system of driving on the left; this was to be gradually phased in over five years with large trucks and tractors first, then buses, eventually including small cars and bicycles last
Selling the Canadian Senate at an antique auction in California
Putting the national debt on Visa
Declaring war on Belgium because a Belgian cartoon character, Tintin, killed a rhinoceros in one of the cartoons
Offering to call off the proposed Belgium-Canada war if Belgium delivered a case of mussels and a case of Belgian beer to Rhinoceros "Hindquarters" in Montréal (the Belgian Embassy in Ottawa did, in fact, do this)
Painting Canada's coastal sea limits in watercolour so that Canadian fish would know where they were at all times
Banning guns and butter, since both kill
Banning lousy Canadian winters
Renaming the country Nantucket
Building a bridge spanning the country, from Vancouver Island to Newfoundland.
Making the Trans-Canada Highway one way only
Changing Canada's currency to bubble gum, so it could be inflated or deflated at will
Donate a free rhinoceros to every aspiring artist in Canada
Counting the Thousand Islands to see if the Americans have stolen any

WDE.

03-26-2009, 05:19 PM	#54
Wetdogeared Storm Surge'n Posts: 5,780 Karma: 8213195 Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Polar Vortex Device: S0ny PRS-300/350/505/700/T1	The Parti Rhinocéros or Rhinoceros Party of Canada is now defunct but it was in operation from the 1960's to 1990's. They ran candidates in 7 elections, but none were elected. They promised to keep none of their promises. A list of some of their platform promises included: Spoiler: Repealing the law of gravity Providing higher education by building taller schools Instituting English, French and illiteracy as Canada's three official languages Tearing down the Rocky Mountains so that Albertans could see the Pacific sunset Making Montreal the Venice of North America by damming the St. Lawrence River Abolishing the environment because it's too hard to keep clean and it takes up so much space Annexing the United States, which would take its place as the third territory, after the Yukon and the Northwest Territories (Nunavut did not yet exist) in Canada's backyard, in order to eliminate foreign control of Canada's natural resources Ending crime by abolishing all laws To provide more parking in the Maritimes and to create the world's largest parking lot respectively, paving the Bay of Fundy and the province of Manitoba Turning Montreal's Saint Catherine Street into the world's longest bowling alley Amending Canada's Freedom of Information Act. "Nothing is free anymore; Canadians should have to pay for their information." Making the Canadian climate more temperate by tapping into the natural resource of hot air in Ottawa. Storing nuclear waste in the Senate. "After all, we've been storing political waste there for years." Adopting the British system of driving on the left; this was to be gradually phased in over five years with large trucks and tractors first, then buses, eventually including small cars and bicycles last Selling the Canadian Senate at an antique auction in California Putting the national debt on Visa Declaring war on Belgium because a Belgian cartoon character, Tintin, killed a rhinoceros in one of the cartoons Offering to call off the proposed Belgium-Canada war if Belgium delivered a case of mussels and a case of Belgian beer to Rhinoceros "Hindquarters" in Montréal (the Belgian Embassy in Ottawa did, in fact, do this) Painting Canada's coastal sea limits in watercolour so that Canadian fish would know where they were at all times Banning guns and butter, since both kill Banning lousy Canadian winters Renaming the country Nantucket Building a bridge spanning the country, from Vancouver Island to Newfoundland. Making the Trans-Canada Highway one way only Changing Canada's currency to bubble gum, so it could be inflated or deflated at will Donate a free rhinoceros to every aspiring artist in Canada Counting the Thousand Islands to see if the Americans have stolen any WDE. Last edited by Wetdogeared; 03-26-2009 at 05:37 PM.