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It's well written and gets your point across, but as I said, I suggest posting it as a review on Amazon or Goodreads -- that way the author can look it up when/if she's in a mood to appreciate constructive criticism.
Sending negative feedback -- even if it's done with the best of intentions, and is politely and constructively phrased -- directly to an author can be very unkind. I've seen even very successful authors writing about struggling with impostor syndrome and low self confidence, and how reading reviews (even mostly positive ones) can be hugely stressful at times, so it's something they need to be in the right mood for.
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