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I was about to head over to the Lazy Lizard, but I remembered that I needed give VR a ring, since I'd just found out somthin' about Hugo and Lefty.
VR's human answered the phone. "Ambassador VivaldiRules' Embassy. What is the purpose of this call?"
"This here's Red, and the purpose is to p--s off VR. How about puttin' him on the speaker."
Next thing I heard was VR voice. "Alright, you lazy redneck, why are you bothering me. You're not getting a cash advance on this job to buy more Ranger's tickets."
"Nice Doggie. Good Doggie."
"And don't call me Doggie!"
"Easy, VR. I got some good news and some bad news. I'll give 'em in order. The good new is I've got a line on Hugo and Lefty. The bad news is there might have to be some shootin' before I can liberate 'em. Now I got one question for you. Do you want to be in on the liberation, or do you want to take a senior general position where you're at. I can cut it either way, but the show about to roll, so...in or out?"
A long pause. "In. Somebody'll have to bail your (bleep) out, just like last time."
"Don't worry VR, I'll tell the Queen how brave you were. Now meet me at..." And I gave him the location of the defunct resturant. (I don't give advertizing to dead resturants. there's no percentage in it.)
After I hung up on VR, I turned to DesertGrandma.
"I need to wait here until VR, the talking dog, shows up."
"Talking Dog?"
"Yeah, you meet all kinds in this business. He's a big wheel from a foreign country, but don't let him bother you, I know his boss."
She looked dubious, but game. "What's the plan, Red."
"DG, I'm playin' three games at once. You husband has top priority, but I have a line on at least one of the other games, so I figger to combine the two games in one. So once VR gets here, we're goin' over to the Lazy Lizard and find out who's workin' with Hugo and Lefty, and pick 'em up so they can go back to Pinwheel. That's what VR hired me for. Once we get that hash settled, I'll call the MIB and get the prisoner exchange set up. I figger I'll have to call L's boss to get all the feathers unruffled. With us holdin' L, and with the feathers settled back at MIB HQ, I figger the swap will go off without a hitch. If it don't, you'd better be willin' to do some ventilation work with that Scholfield.
"You got any extra cartridges?"
"Two loaders in my purse. I never figured I'd need to start a war."
"Ok, we'll go by your house and pick up some water and some chips, and your shotgun and all your cartridges. I don't figger we'll need them, but better safe than sorry."
A few minutes later, a car rolled up and VR got out.
"Howdy, VR. Meet DesertGrandma. It's her husband that got kidnapped."
"VivaldiRules, Ambassador-at-Large to the Kingdon of Pinwheel, at your service. I'm glad to see somebody of taste controlling this redneck."
I saw DG's hand going into her purse, so I grabbed her arm before somethin' untoward happened.
"Don't worry, DG. He's just a little sandpapery around me. Doesn't bother me. Besides, we need to get."
DG relaxed and took her hand out of her purse. She had a compact in her hand, but I knew that wasn't what she was about to pull out before I grabbed her arm.
"Hop aboard, VR. We're gonna make a stop at her house to pick up some things, and then head over to where Hugo and Lefty are. I want to get this done so I can catch tomorrow's game."
He did and we went rollin' back to DG's house.
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