Well, since the T&Cs in the OP's linked post say this is only good on orders placed with Echo devices, and not Alexa via the Amazon app, maybe I'll actually find and set up the old Echo I got really cheap with some offer a while back

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I did set up the Amazon Alexa app on my Android phone a while back for some other Alexa offer and am bummed they won't let me use that, but I guess they want me even deeper in their ecosystem. Which won't work too well, I suspect, since I'll likely disconnect the Echo after the offer, but WTH, we'll see...maybe I'll fall in love with it...