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The metadata.opf files are used by the Restore database function. When you update metadata those files are written in a separate background thread. So, your performance issues are very unlikely to be due to the writing of those files.
What sort device are your libraries stored on? And, how many books in the library?
I have a library of about 180,000 'books'. Updating a book's metadata, via the book list, is done as fast as I can enter the data. And, when a book's metadata is updated via F2 in the book list, calibre writes a new metadata.opf for each column edited, i.e. even if the column is tabbed through.
BR
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