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Originally Posted by sirbruce
Well, he did grab Connie Willis' breast onstage at a convention in a comedic way, which he sort-of apologized for. Does that make one sexist?
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Yes, it does. And that's the incident I was thinking of.
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I think it takes more than one grope in more than one context to make one sexist. I've played touchy-feely with women playfully before; if they're the right sort of friend they don't mind. If I've misjudged them and they turn out to object, am I automatically a sexist?
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It makes you guilty of assault. Probably unprosecutable, but not less guilty.
People don't have the right to grope others w/o permission. Not even their friends.
Women are certainly not given a free pass if they go around grabbing random men's balls. (And as much as many men might say, "woo hoo! Bring it on!" keep in mind that the men who are prone to groping women, are often decades older and a hundred pounds heavier than the women they grope--allowing women the same permission would mean unattractive, sleazy-looking middle-aged women having the right to grope college boys.)
I am NOT advocating an all-groping society; I'd much prefer people kept their hands to themselves unless they were fairly certain they had permission to touch. And "her tits were OUT TO THERE!" is not permission.
It does take more than one grope to make a person sexist. The question is, why did he think public groping would be funny or acceptable? *That* is what makes him sexist--that he thought it would be okay, and *of course* nobody would be seriously bothered by it.
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The closest thing I *have* heard him say that was sexist was a rant about how bad most female authors were in speculative fiction, and how their work was unfairly lauded as good precisely because they were authored by women.
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Wonder what he thought of Tiptree's works.
I enjoyed Ellison's company, the few minutes I was in it. When I listed "5 famous people from anytime in history you'd like to have dinner with" on my LiveJournal, he was one of them. But he does have plenty of biases, including sexism.
(I think of him as mildly sexist. Combined with a huge and active ego, that makes for "sexist pig;" there are people who are much more sexist but who are less public about it because they're shy, or worried about people's reactions. He's not shy.)
I love Ellison's writing, and I like him as a person. But I'm aware that plenty of people find him horribly abrasive and rude for a great number of reasons, most of which are perfectly valid. (Me, I enjoy intelligent, clever men with huge egos; I could happily spend hours listening to him rant. And feeding him lines to keep ranting with.)