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A month ago I put myself in social isolation/distancing feeling the kind of anxiety I do went I I know there is a hurricane headed this way. I try to control that anxiety by staying busy with preparations but can’t go to bed til I have checked the last hurricane update and repeat as soon as I wake up. Have followed the same strategy with Covid-19. Two weeks ago that anxiety changed to the numb feeling you get when you wake to check the latest forecast and see that not only are you in the cone but the center line is going right over your head. There is nothing to do but wait and even though you know the wait is going to be only days or hours it can seem interminable. But there is always in the back of your mind the hope that it could veer just enough and I try to focus on how great it will feel to go outside in the bright sunshine hugging and hi-fiving neighbors as they make their way outside.
Yesterday my hurricane Anxiety/fear reactions left to be replaced by what I call an “On The Beach” reaction. Not a good feeling at all. It’s not just me in the center of the cone but family and friends in many different states, people all over the world and “it’ is coming to all of us. And I now have a different understanding of interminable.
Before anybody calls social services or law enforcement to come do a welfare check on my mental status, I am feeling much better this evening and I am only a text or phone call away from family and friends - And there have been a whole lot of those calls and texts. The highlight of the day was when my son called to let me know my granddaughters were on their way with a food delivery. Ribs, just off the grill, potato salad, baked beans and a loaf of banana bread. I waited for them on the front porch and they left the bag at the end of the walkway and I actually had some real person to person inter-action and conversation(far enough a way to be safe)and could wave at them as they circled around the driveway and out to the road.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, dim though it may be. Be strong, be safe. We have to, and can, make it through that tunnel.
And now I’m going to listen to some bill withers.
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