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Originally Posted by issybird
I agree with you that Anne wasn’t manipulative, she was just highly dramatic for the enjoyment of it and, very importantly, because it helped her cope with the stresses and abuses of her early childhood. Similarly, I don’t think M&M would have mistreated a boy (although I don’t think he would have been treated as a son of the household, either. That bed off the kitchen!). ..
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Just wanted to add that Matthew slept downstairs too, and hadn’t been upstairs in three years. I think those passages were meant to be about gender. The house and home were the women’s domain; the men’s world was outside.
My take on M&M wanting a boy vs girl was that they regarded girls as more delicate and their needs more complicated. Males’ needs seemed simpler, so taking care of a boy felt more straightforward to them. And Matthew had gotten to the stage of needing help in his domain, whereas Marilla still had her domain in hand. Their belief that boys’ needs were less complicated was wrong, but it doesn’t mean they would have valued him less than Anne once they got to know him, and care about him. They greatly underestimated Anne’s needs too, but then rose to the occasion.