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Originally Posted by pwalker8
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This article is just as bad as the first.
"In 2004, U.S. Department of Justice statistics show seven in 10 female rape or sexual assault victims stated the offender was an intimate, a relative, a friend, or an acquaintance. Officer Jason Lee, a spokesman for the Los Angeles Police Department, says questionable looks from people you know can gradually advance to touching or words that may make you feel uncomfortable. "Tell someone else about the warning signs, someone who can help you, so we can prevent this," urges Lee."
First of all, a questionable look from someone you know or trust isn't going to automatically lead into rape, violent, or abusive situations. Most people think back on these scenes after the fact of a crime when they're trying to figure out what happened. What is a questionable look when it comes to rape or sexual assault from someone you know? And the police aren't going to do anything if you call the department and say you're feeling uncomfortable from a friend, parent, etc., because they gave you an odd look but haven't done anything else yet.
"Just as you can sense people's feelings, others can sense yours as well. Predators look for people who are meek, mild, weak, unfocused, and distracted. "Criminals are looking for easy pickings. They're looking for someone who they can take by surprise and will likely not resist," says Jean O'Neil, director of research and evaluation for the National Crime Prevention Council. She suggests presenting yourself in an assertive manner. When walking down the street, make eye contact with people who look at you. O'Neil says that signals the would-be offender that you are in charge and aware that they are there."
Ugh. Again this is saying if a woman is raped in public, she shouldn't have been acting "weak"? Like a weak person? I would think some are more attracted to the woman who keeps acting assertive and challenging with eye contact instead, this article is ridiculous with its assumptions. And women or men feel like victims, feel weak, after they have been raped --- telling them they may have been attracting the attention in the first place because they acted like a weak person could be psychologically devastating.
"If escape is not an option, Farrenkopf suggests firm resistance, particularly in cases of rape or sexual assault. With people you know, he urges being clear about saying "No" to sex, and to avoid flirting or mixed messages. With both intimates and strangers, he says physically resisting and then escaping is the best option."
I'm so glad the would-be victim is being told her/his best option is to escape. Um. Of course that's the best option and what every person being attacked will try to do (whether they initially freeze or not), that doesn't need to be spelled out in the article like it's a choice we proactively choose when getting attacked. Being told before the fact that it's a good idea to escape if you're attacked helps no one - obviously most people would try to escape if possible!
And of course if you're being raped, you're being clear on saying "No" and not sending mixed messages or flirting during the attack - this is just in insulting.
Say "No" in more a firm, and clear message? What on earth! That's like telling a woman who has been raped she must not have said no firmly and clear enough. How sad this article is.
I also don't get these medical websites publishing these articles talking about women messing up more when they froze or did not escape, when we've also been taught - from a medical standpoint, for crying out loud - that the flight or freeze instinct isn't always in our control when faced with danger and how it can be impossible to know how you're react in a situation, even without training.
A
good article about this from Psychology Today that states the flight or freeze response is a hormonal, neurological tie-in response
sometimes outside the person's control
"Say, you’re attacked by a ferocious dog who’s sunk his teeth into your neck and you’re totally at his mercy. In such an alarming instance, you’d experience trepidation, panic, horror, dread. And these extreme feelings would be so fraught with anxiety, so laden with terror,
that almost no one is “gifted” with the resources required to stay fully in the present—which is precisely what’s needed to “process” emotional and physical completion, or release, of what so frighteningly besieges you.
Under such unnerving circumstances, “freezing up” or “numbing out”—dissociating from the here and now—is about the only and (in various instances)
the best thing you can do. Being physically, mentally, and emotionally immobilized by your consternation permits you not to feel the harrowing enormity of what’s happening to you, which in your hyperaroused state might threaten your very sanity. In such instances, some of the chemicals you thereby secrete (i.e., endorphins) function as an analgesic, so the pain of injury (to your body or psyche) is experienced with far less intensity.
Additionally, if you’re not putting up a fight, the person or animal aggressing against you just might lose interest in continuing their attack. B
ut whatever the provocation, if you can’t make the assailant disappear, you’re much better off “disappearing” yourself, by blocking out what’s much too scary to take in. So, in its own way, the freeze response to trauma is—if only at the time—as adaptive as the fight-flight response."
So, clearly the freeze response isn't because you're weak, passive, submissive - it can be a natural process by the body to help your survival long-term once the violence is over. It is usually not a controlled process, even in trained or "aggressive women" or those who meet people's eyes on the street. Substitute the dog here for rape, being hit, being mugged, it's the same thing --
people should not be told they can avoid being victims by not freezing for a second when attacked - it's not something they can control and it doesn't make them more their fault if they do that.