Quote:
Originally Posted by meeera
I'm not a librarian, Mr Reading Skills.
And I'm not talking about people being "mean to you in the office" (where the hell did you get that??)
I said that if you are teaching self-defence to women and children, focusing on stranger attacks in public is very much the wrong approach. And I am talking about physical violence, of which sexual assault is one of the primary forms for these classes of victims. I've never been punched deliberately (apart from in training). I have been sexually and indecently assaulted a number of times. Almost never by strangers in public - only once in that situation, on a bus as a child. Broad daylight. Crowded bus. Wearing jeans and a Tshirt. "Normal" looking attacker who assaulted me without warning. And this personal experience is borne out in all reputable stats. This is, overwhelmingly, the violence we experience.
Go on, ask me why I didn't report that bus assault.
The vast majority of attackers are known to the victim, and frequently either related or in positions of power over them. Your approach to "avoid the situation" would involve women and children avoiding family members, intimate partners, teachers, coaches, tutors, scout leaders, priests, etc etc etc. It makes no sense in this context at all.
Women's self-defence is a thing, but it's not primarily "stay out of dark alleys" and "avoid sketchy-looking strangers".
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Once again, you confuse different types of self defense and seem to assume that one size fits all. There are many different approaches and each requires a different approach. You want to lump everything together and say well, what you talk about doesn't handle some specific situation that I was in once, so you are totally wrong. That's just BS.
We teach kids to tell responsible adults when something that makes them uncomfortable happens. We teach things like no one has a right to put their hands on you. We teach them how to get out of a grab and run away. If someone had taught you to scream "leave me alone, you are not my father" when someone accosted you on the crowded bus, maybe it would have turned out better. I don't know, but it's what we teach the kids to do in such a situation.
Family situations is not about self defense. If we suspect there is a problem at home, we talk to the parent(s) and suggest seeking help. It's fairly rare but it happens.
We do have classes that teaches women's self defense. Those are normally taught by women instructors. They talk about how to handle dates who won't take no for an answer and the like as well as being accosted in public. Being in an abusive relationship is not self defense. We have professional councilors that we refer those people to.
Self defense isn't being in a bad relationship. It being in a situation where you are willing to physically hurt, maybe kill the other person. Bad family situations, bad relationships, non supportive parents are all things best handled by people who train for years to handle those issues, not karate instructors.
Sometimes bad things happen. It's called being in the wrong place at the wrong time. My sister was once accosted by a flasher while walking our dog. She told my parents and my parents called the police. The police came and took her story. At no time did she feel like it was her fault, my parents made sure of that. That's how we teach kids to handle such things.