Quote:
Originally Posted by pwalker8
In what way? How is it victim blaming to choose not to allow other people to define you? Part of the idea is that knowledge that what the other person is saying is not true. The idea isn't when someone says that you are a loser then you say "oh, well I must be a loser".
The idea is that when someone else says you are a loser, then you look at yourself, you see you are not a loser, thus the other person is full of it. It in no way gives a pass to the other person, it simply says don't let other people define you and make you feel bad about yourself. Don't give other people power over how you feel about yourself. It's the opposite of victim blaming and is absolutely the opposite of gaslighting. If the other person is acting like an ass, then they are acting like an ass and should be treated like an ass.
It's an acknowledgement that you can't live your life in your echo chamber never hearing things you don't want to hear. In the real world, you hear plenty of things you don't what to hear. But if it's not true, why allow it to effect you?
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It’s actually a textbook example of both. You’re saying if you let what someone else says get to you it is your fault for letting it get to you. Literally victim blaming. You wouldn’t tell a person who got beaten with sticks and stones “oh it only hurts if you let it” the same applies here. You can’t control this beyond a one off encounter, and one off encounters are never what the phrase is used against. It’s when the abuse is repeated and or on a medium to large scale.
And to contort this into not living in an echo chamber and not wanting to hear certain things is classic gaslighting.
We’re not talking about people with differing opinions on politics. We’re talking about one or more people mocking and belittling another person. They are very entitled to not have that kind of thing happen.
And before you say something like “I went through it and turned out fine” if you went through suffering and are okay with others going through the same because you turned out fine, you did not in fact turn out fine.
Note I’m using the general you, not specifically referring to any one person.