Quote:
Originally Posted by Moejoe
Let me know what needs correcting. I only finished this off at around 7am this morning (UK) and my eyes are still a little blurry  |
I wasn't doing an edit read, just noted a couple of places where I was pulled out of the story.
[Between the 1st and 2nd charges.]
Shall we move on to the second charge?'
'There's more
? Isn't that enough? [here I thought it should have been a "?" used as it seemed to match his conversational pace and the missing question mark made me go back to reread the sentence]
'On the second count of treason and incitement to rebellion, you are hereby found guilty. You will, at a time of
the our choosing, [remove "the"]
I didn't keep notes as I was pulled into the story and only really noticed the places where it pulled me out.
