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I differentiate between what I think of as "romance set in other worlds" and what I think of as "science fiction/fantasy with romantic elements" by imagining whether my husband or other of my guy friends would like the books, or if they would find the romantic byplay between various characters to interfere with their enjoyment of the rest of the storyline. For almost all of the Ilona Andrews series, I think they fall on the side of "husband would be impatient" with them, so to me they are "romance set in other worlds".
But I certainly wouldn't argue too hard with folks who disagree...
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