Which OS, how much memory on the computer, which version of calibre?
Any columns built from other columns (composite columns) - they can slow things down, especially if they interrogate the file system itself.
Try running calibre with no plugins ==>>
calibre
What does this -- "
... having a few sources running checks through calibredb to see if titles exist already..." -- actually entail. I use the Find Duplicates plugin to do that - it's lightning fast because it uses the in-memory version of the database, and it can do exact, similar, soundex, and fuzzy matches, and x-library matches.
Because calibre loads the entire database into memory when a library is opened, the value of copying the database to a ram disk is debatable.
BR