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Haha I guess we will never know for sure what happened. Although it's entirely possible that it was a hardware failure that just happened to come at exactly the wrong time for me to assume otherwise. Perhaps dust or water ingress or some other shock? In any case, Kobo agreed to give me a replacement so the problem will be resolved soon. Heck, I might even get a device without the uneven grey streaks on the bottom. A man can dream...
Thanks to all who responded. I will report back if I discover any more information.
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