I got the the Rangers game in the middle of the second inning. I picked a spot down the 1st base line with plenty of elbow room, and watched the game. The pitching was up to the usual Ranger standard, but their bats were hittin', so I was having a good time. That's the nice thing about watchin' the Rangers during spring training, you can enjoy the game before the losses start countin'.
At the end of the third, a voice behind me drawled, "Howdy, Red."
"Howdy, Bubba. Guess you're wonderin' why I dragged you to a Rangers game."
"It beats havin' to help the White House craft legislation."
"You used to work with the Prez back when he was in the state legislature, right."
"Yup. Anyways, back to the rat killin's."
"Bubba, I'm workin' a kidnapping case right now. It involves the Men In Black around here. I need an entre' to talk to the local head, but I don't want to spook 'em, 'cause they might do something rash, and that wouldn't be nice."
"Hmmm. Red, you seem to think I know everybody."
"You do. That's why you're behind me in a disguise, to avoid all you friends."
"Actually, I just don't want to be seen at a Rangers game. People might get ideas. How are you gonna keep them from zapping you?"
"I'm wearin' the blocker contacts that ole Ralph invented 10 years ago."
"Pity about Ralph going bad."
I took a swig of beer and stared moodily at the field. "I didn't have a lot of choice about the deal. He used to be a good pooch."
"Easy, Red. You did what you had to do, not 'cause you liked it. I'd have to have done the same thing if I'd been there."
"Maybe. But it still doesn't make it go down any easier."
"Back to the kidnapping. What happened?"
I filled him on the situation. "So you see, All I want is to get DesertGrandpa freed up and back home. He doesn't have anything the MIB needs. If I can chat with the head honco, I figger I can convince him to let DesertGrandpa go."
"Well, Red, I have good news and bad news."
"Gimme the good news. I get enough bad news every day."
"The good new is that I know the local head of the MIB here. Now you know they get fussy about having guests show up at their secret headquarters, but the head uses the local science-fiction convention as a listening post. So he's in charge of the convention setup over at the hotel. I recommend you brace him there."
He tapped me on the shoulder and passed me a slip of paper. "Here's his cover name for the convention."
"Thanks Bubba. What's the bad news?"
"He's L, and he still limps. I don't think he's going to be real happy to see you."
A short pause, "Here's another piece of bad news. Look down. There's a dog peeing on your shoe."
I did. The dog stopped peeing and grinned at me.
"I've been wanting to do that for a long time."
"The price just went up, VR, whatever you're asking me for."
"Who's the guy behind you?"
"That's Bubba. 'Bout time y'all met. Bubba, this is VivaldiRules, ambassador at large for the Kindom of Pinwheel. He went through the same shop Ralph did. VR, this is Bubba. He know just about everybody of importance in the world."
VR hopped up the two levels of seat and stuck out a paw, which Bubba shook.
VR asked, "where did you run into Red?"
"About 10 years ago, when he was working a counterfeiting case."
I turned to VR. "Now that you've relieved your feeling on my shoe, what brought you here in the first place? I'm sure you're not here for the floor show." I waved my arm at the field.
"Her Majesty has need of you services again."
"I don't know how much you listened to before relaxin', but I'm occupied at the moment."
"More important than good relations with Pinwheel?"
"If you were worried about good relations, you would've kept you sphincter tight. I'm working a kidnapping case."
"Bubba, no offense, but I'd better take this doggie for a walk. Thanks for the intro, you'll get a check in the mail."
"Sure Red, I understand client confidentiality. Come on by this summer, and we'll go fishing."
"I'll do that. Come on VR." And I headed down, out of the stands.
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