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Mother of GOD. I mean, I've seen some crap in my time, god knows--we've converted books from every type of source known to mankind, including Powerpoint files, but that? THAT is world-class sh*t. I can honestly say, that might be the worst cruft I've ever seen.
Dude, seriously--either actually take a few hours, and start to learn HTML and CSS, or hire someone. That's a disaster looking for a place to happen.
Hitch
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