It’s hard to know how much of a part nostalgia plays with a reread. However, I was very involved with that growing relationship, and I grieved when Estraven died in Genly’s arms.
On shifgrethor, I found two useful quotes in a quite long Wikipedia article. George Shesser describes it as:
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Not rank, but its opposite, the ability to maintain equality in any relationship, and to do so by respecting the person of the other.
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Carrie B McWhorter is quoted as saying it is:
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a sense of honour and respect that provides the Gethenians with a way to save face in a time of crisis.
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I’m not sure about the second definition, but I like the first one. Giving unsolicited advice is assuming I know better than the other person what s/he should do. (And maybe that term would have worked better for us, by the way.) Not to give advice unless specifically asked to do so is treating the other as an equal.