[gmw]

Originally Posted by latepaul

Was it? Could you explain it to me then? What was the nature of the misunderstanding and how does it clarify shifgrethor? [...]

I'll try.

First, as to shifgrethor, the clearest examples of how it works (although I don't really expect this is comprehensive) relates to advice. It seems that shifgrethor is such that a person does not expect to receive nor give advice until explicitly given permission, and even then the advice may be given in a circuitous manner in order to avoid offence. Some examples follow:

Bear in mind that King Argaven is acknowledged as insane when you read this quote from Ch3:

Let me give you some advice.” Argaven said this with curious emphasis and satisfaction, and even then it occurred to me that nobody else, in two years, had ever given me advice. They answered questions, but they never openly gave advice, not even Estraven at his most helpful. It must have to do with shifgrethor.

And from the "landlady, a voluble man" in Ch5:

And so on. He was, as I said, voluble, and having discovered that I had no shifgrethor took every chance to give me advice, though even he disguised it with ifs and as-ifs.

I find this a curious inconsistency that the landlady is painted as enjoying giving advice, when surely something so ingrained as shifgrethor would have eliminated this urge. (The insane king, above, gets a pass on this complaint.)

In ch10 Estraven bends enough to try and give advice but its reticence means Genly does not receive the advice well. In fact it appears to rub Genly the wrong way, because Genly already sees Extraven as a traitor both to Genly and to Estraven's own country.

In Ch11 Estraven speaks of his relationship with Obsle:

I think that I, a foreigner, am the only person Obsle trusts. He has some pleasure in my company (as I in his), and several times has waived shifgrethor and frankly asked my advice. But when I urge him to speak out, to raise public interest as a defense against factional intrigue, he does not hear me.

Given such a situation, you can imagine that Estraven's position as the "King's Ear" is indeed precarious: how do you advise a King when advice is so tightly entwined with honourable behaviour. This may make Estraven particularly sensitive to shifgrethor.

So the opening problem that first turns Genly away from Estraven is that Estraven had seemed to be sponsoring Genly's cause, but then, abruptly, appears to cast Genly away. Genly feels betrayed, and is convinced Estraven is acting only for Estraven's own benefit - he does not understand the subtle and sensitive relationship between the King the and King's Ear.

However, Estraven expects Genly to know what is going on, and doesn't offer advice because Genly doesn't ask for it. (Is this Le Guin saying that men refuse to ask for directions? ) Estraven's actions are in fact taking risks on itself in an attempt to save Genly's cause. From Ch14:

Have failed. And have put you in pain, and shame, and danger. I know it. But if I had tried to fight Tibe for your sake, you would not be here now, you’d be in a grave in Erhenrang. And there are now a few people in Karhide, and a few in Orgoreyn, who believe your story, because they listened to me. They may yet serve you. My greatest error was, as you say, in making myself clear to you. I am not used to doing so. I am not used to giving, or accepting, either advice or blame.

Notice that "blame" inserted in there too. I haven't researched that aspect, this post is long enough. It is curious that we have this explanation in ch14 but Genly doesn't really get it until ch18 - as if there is something about seeing the woman in Estraven that finally makes it clear to Genly ... but I'm not sure why that should be. (Is Le Guin suggesting that "never give or accept advice" is a feminine attribute? Or that Genly thinks this even if Le Guin doesn't?)

Genly's reaction in the early parts of the book seems to deny everything Estraven thinks of as honourable (how can Genly not appreciate what was done for him?), while Genly feels betrayed. And so we have a chasm open between them and a lot of what follows - until their journey over the ice - only exacerbates the problem because each is already inclined to think the worst of the other.

Or that's my reading of it. I'm not saying I've covered it all.