Quote:
Originally Posted by jaxx6166
NOW!!! You've got my interest. =)
My only criticism is that you need to be careful with repeating the same word so many times... .. IMO, it becomes distracting.
Thank you so much Morris!
|
Yes, a lot more meat on those bones
Good grab-you-by-the-throat opening, stakes rise logically, and there's a bigger-than-life outcome if the protagonist doesn't defeat the antagonist.
Bit of tightening here and there, name your characters, and you're off to a flying start
