I'm late to the party, but just finished reading
Refuge.
Unlike many other Mobileread denizens, I didn't find the sex, violence, or guns excessive at all. In fact, I found the descriptions, especially of violence, to be very mild considering what happened. In fact, I think the descriptions were almost methodical and studied (like Suter's character I suppose).
When I first started reading, I thought it would be another
I Am Legend but I was pleasantly suprised as I read further. In fact, the book continued to do so (the "suprise and delight" beloved of marketers
) as I read along.
For example, I thought I would be bored by the religious beliefs of the characters, but Mr. Herley put an excellent, new spin on the subject. Same again for the gay and rape themes. The only thing I found conventional or cliched was the protagonist as superhuman, action hero (in deed) but at least he was uncertain and afraid (in thought).
I was a little confused about exactly what Suter planned to do when he attempted to ambush the men following him away from the village (hear/see them trigger the tripwire, then what? he couldn't really snipe without long range rifle and good line of sight), but other than that I enjoyed the book much more than I expected to.
Edit: I felt incredibly sorry for Suter when he realized he would lose the safety of his house forever. Meeting the new Helen wouldn't come close to making up for it.