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covingtoncat73 · 11-14-2018, 06:14 PM

Ugh. This is going to sound terrible but I have, basically, lived on my own since I was in the dorms in college and I have been pretty happy that way. It's a long story but my mother has been living with me since my stepfather died nine years ago.

While there have been good things about this and I love my mom, it has been challenging and has only gotten worse. When she first moved in, the idea was that she would be at her cabin in the PNW 3-4 months out of the year and rent a trailer on the beach in Mexico where a bunch of her PNW friends winter.

This did not pan out. My brother and sister-in-law only had one child when Mom moved in with me and now they have three. None of sis-in-laws family live around here and Mom and I are the only close family. I work full-time and am useless with children, so Mom is basically all day, every day with those kids because sis-in-law had to go back to work after the second one.

So, that means several things. Mom has never done the Mexico thing, she has never been to the PNW cabin for more than two months, and she often brings three children under 9 to my tiny house and I feel like, not only have they taken over her life as well as those of their parents, they are taking over my life. I feel like my house is not my own and never know what to expect. Given my personality type, this makes me pretty unhappy at times.

To top it off, we usually go to a big group Thanksgiving hosted by members of a family that have been friends with our family for several generations. They're not doing it this year, so Mom is probably going to have them and the kids for Thanksgiving in my tiny house. It's going to be horrible. I mean, that party does include bro and sil's 3 and more but the older kids at that party keep the littles entertained and there are a lot of parents, too. Also, it's a bigger house.

When I try to set boundaries or let her know when too much is too much, I just get push back and gas-lighting. I know these are my nieces and nephew and I love them but I didn't care for the company of children even when I was a child myself. That's just not how I'm wired and I feel constantly on edge.

11-14-2018, 06:14 PM	#32602
covingtoncat73 Wizard Posts: 2,745 Karma: 83407757 Join Date: Mar 2011 Device: Kindle Paperwhite, Lenovo Duet Chromebook, Moto e	Ugh. This is going to sound terrible but I have, basically, lived on my own since I was in the dorms in college and I have been pretty happy that way. It's a long story but my mother has been living with me since my stepfather died nine years ago. While there have been good things about this and I love my mom, it has been challenging and has only gotten worse. When she first moved in, the idea was that she would be at her cabin in the PNW 3-4 months out of the year and rent a trailer on the beach in Mexico where a bunch of her PNW friends winter. This did not pan out. My brother and sister-in-law only had one child when Mom moved in with me and now they have three. None of sis-in-laws family live around here and Mom and I are the only close family. I work full-time and am useless with children, so Mom is basically all day, every day with those kids because sis-in-law had to go back to work after the second one. So, that means several things. Mom has never done the Mexico thing, she has never been to the PNW cabin for more than two months, and she often brings three children under 9 to my tiny house and I feel like, not only have they taken over her life as well as those of their parents, they are taking over my life. I feel like my house is not my own and never know what to expect. Given my personality type, this makes me pretty unhappy at times. To top it off, we usually go to a big group Thanksgiving hosted by members of a family that have been friends with our family for several generations. They're not doing it this year, so Mom is probably going to have them and the kids for Thanksgiving in my tiny house. It's going to be horrible. I mean, that party does include bro and sil's 3 and more but the older kids at that party keep the littles entertained and there are a lot of parents, too. Also, it's a bigger house. When I try to set boundaries or let her know when too much is too much, I just get push back and gas-lighting. I know these are my nieces and nephew and I love them but I didn't care for the company of children even when I was a child myself. That's just not how I'm wired and I feel constantly on edge. Last edited by covingtoncat73; 11-14-2018 at 06:21 PM.