[Hitch]

Originally Posted by trichobezoar

I didn't mean to offend you. I was afraid I'd offend someone... My mother was a contractor for the Army and... we didn't get a long. She was very dense... What I mean by dense is closed-minded, obstinate (willful), unreasonable, egocentric and controlling. She's a black and white Type A personality. She can't think outside of the box. My case manager's the same way. Yes, it's my case manager. He's also the most important gatekeeper in my life right now. He's extremely closed-minded, to the point that 9 out of 10 questions in his "Healthy Relationships" class (held every other week)... 9 out of 10 questions I got wrong because they weren't his answers. He's a very poor listener... And he ignored me for hours on two occassions--very unprofessional. I was trained in customer service in the Air Force... One should not treat customers/clients that way.

Well, firstly, being a military contractor or civilian employee isn't the same thing as serving. People's mindsets, intelligence, openness, etc., have exceedingly little to do with their military service--they came that way. Sure, it's possible that people who tend to be a certain type of person might be attracted to military service--but so are all other types.

I was a National Merit Scholar. Top 1% in the country in SATs; had a full ride at several universities and an acceptance at two Ivies. I chose to serve because at the time, my male friends were being drafted for Viet Nam. I'd already been working in NYC for about 5 years, attending school parttime as I entered my senior year of school at 16. Given my friends were being drafted, and over the vociferous objections of my mother, I served.

People who do not listen don't last very long in the military. In the time post-Viet Nam, servicemen and women who didn't make the grade were rifted--rotated out, basically as not benefitting the military. The military doesn't want dunderheads any more than any other profession.

I've met dense people who were Army veterans, Air Force veterans (my acquaintance with the emotional IQ of a spatula is an Air Force vet)... Dense people come in all shapes and sizes. My mother was Army strong and Army dense... If one wasn't strong (if one showed signs of weakness), she disliked the person right away and made it clear. My case manager's like that. He's made it clear to me what he thinks of me--how little he thinks of me.

I doubt that's the result of his service. It's more likely to simply be how he is. As I said, people who don't listen and don't think don't have much a future in the service. Sure, they can try to be career grunts, but nobody can be an e-1 forever.

I've met people who were in the Army who were kind, open-minded, intelligent... It all has to do with training (socialization) and if one's been taken over by ego or not.

Being dense or stupid really has naught to do with socialization or training. Someone is stupid, or they aren't. It's not like serving lowers someone's IQ. It does, though, teach people self-discipline, teamwork and a variety of other useful skills. It's unfortunate that your relationship with your mother and this boss or whatever he is have tainted your viewpoint, but I can assure you, the military's populace is just as varied as any other environment--people are people.

Hitch