Originally Posted by Hitch
Blossom:
I'm going to say this, but before I do, I want to clarify that this /rant isn't directed at anyone here, or their choices. A crewmember of mine recently went through something, on all this cost with someone dying, and it's really been up my nose ever since.
It is unconscionable for people to expect/want/etc. any sort of funeral expenses, get-togethers, ceremonies, and so forth, and have their relatives shoulder the burden of that. My assistant just went through this, first having to pay her mum's hospital bill (or they wouldn't release the body!), by 50% (for a major, nearly-two-week-stay in the ICU/CCU). and THEN, pay for the funeral, the wake, the graveside service, the bloody headstone, and so on.
This came on the heels of both her boys getting some bizarro-world illness--the younger nearly died--and spending, yup, another two damn weeks (BOTH of them) in the hospital, and her insurance hardly covered any of it. Suffice to say, she's had a mother of a year.
I tried to convince her not to do all that. To cremate her mum--but her uncle, mum's brother, right?--kept calling her up, RANTING at her about doing the "wrong thing." (Cremation--religious beliefs against same.) She finally ended up not doing all of it, but, still. And did ranty Uncle contribute a PENNY? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, of course not.
If people want these elaborate ceremonies, fine--but they should bloody well make arrangements to pay for them, IN ADVANCE, and not bankrupt their grief-ridden relatives. It's, as I said, unconscionable. My grandparents, as it happened, ended up with unused plots--but bygod, they had them, with a small policy to pay for the services, just in case we (the remaining folks) couldn't manage it. We did, and it wasnt a problem, but...
If Mr. H goes, and I'm broke, well, tough cookies. I'll try to bail his ass out of wherever it is, and get him cremated, but that's it. Ditto for me. Honestly,he could leave me and let the damn state burn me and plant me in potter's field, for all I care. (related semi-rant--it boggles me that we continue to waste all this valuable dirt, putting chemical-filled bodies in metal and wooden coffins, taking up space, instead of either a) burying the bodies, as-is, and letting them decompose as they OUGHT, giving BACK to the dirt, or b) cremating them and then burying the ashes, ditto.).
I watch my assistant, and some other folks, and I just don't get being that "guilted" into spending money you do NOT have, for services you can't afford, for which the deceased can't be there, any-g*ddamned-way. If your mum/dad/brother/whatever needs to be handled, either do what you can, or don't do anything, or pass the hat to your remaining relatives--ALL of them. Even a few bucks will help. Don't put yourself into penury, paying for this nonsense. Want a day of remembrance? Fine, have it at home with chips and dip and some booze/soda/whatever. Don't let morturaries and the like talk you into this stuff, OR your relatives.
/rant.
Hitch
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