Honestly, I don't know how I can do this one justice.\
The Past:
...client emails me, saying she's a new author, creating a kids' book. She asks me questions, about getting the files ready to be made into digital fixed-layout kids' books. I answer these questions, and, I also give her some pointers and advice on the print layout files--I tell her to make sure she picks a trim size, and that her illustrator uses bleed, live element areas, etc. Right?
These convos happen over a period of let's say, 7 emails, give or take.
The Present:
Client shows up with this book, which I get in PDF, in spreads (Two-up, which means, I see two pages at once, the way you would if you open a book.) Fine. I'm writing to her, discussing the options around fixed-layout (having popup text boxes, versus not, zoomability versus not, etc.). Suddenly she says something in passing, around Createspace, and a penny drops in my brain.
I look at the files again, and these are 20x9", or, 10" wide and 9" tall. That means that they are ever-so-slightly more rectangular, in an individual page, than a square. And it's meant to be printed, in landscape, and side-bound.
Moreover, the illustrator has sent this PDF with zero bleed. Okay, that's not a huge deal, perhaps she just sent it this way--if you've set up a page/document with bleed, in InDesign, it's only a moment's work to output it with bleed for printing, right? (FWIW, I have this horrible feeling that the illo thought that full bleed just meant, run off the edge of the page, and didn't set bleed settings in INDD, but, foolishly, hope springs eternal...)
But when I view the pages, this thing has all the dialogue/narrative boxes at the bottom of the page, WELL within the live-element noflyzone. These should NOT be where they are located, because there's a very good chance that they'll get cropped, at least partially, off the page. I mean...wth?
And then I realize, this trim size doesn't exist. Not in Createspace, not in KDP print. At this point, my forehead looks like a crumpled piece of paper, it's so squooshed together in WTF???
I write to her, saying.."I'm not sure what's going on here, but this file isn't going to fit at Createspace. I don't see bleed, I see live elements in the margins where they ought not be, and the size is simply wrong."
n.b.: let's not forget--I have
NOTHING to do with the print file. That's completely out of my bailiwick.
Our only concern is making the Ebooks. But, I'd spent that time, telling her "pick the trim size, make sure the illustrator remembers the bleed," etc., so I'm gobsmacked here.
How the HELL did this happen?
FIRST, she writes back, saying:
Whut?
This is where it gets
FUZZY for you? Are you kidding? This is a 9" tall, 10" wide page. Firstly, it's not square. What are you going to do, crop 0.75" from the height, and 1.75" from the width? These pages are fully illustrated. They have NO white margins/borders around them, etc. The illos go to the edge of the page, as they ought, in full-bleed. I don't even know where to start, in discussing this with her.
And then I get this:
With a closing para that says THIS:
I'm honestly utterly boggled. I don't even know HOW to help her at this point. I mean...how do I tell her that whatever she paid, she's completely thrown it away? She might as well have taken her money, in cash, and
burned it in the fireplace.
I'm completely smacked. I wish I could think of some way to help her, but...I sorta also want to scream, "did you think I wrote you all that info, for fun? Why didn't you read what I sent, read the guidelines I told you to download, etc.?"
I don't get it. I
really don't. If you're going to spend that much money...what the
HELL?
Hitch