[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Captain, I can't say enough about this ship, and about all of you. It's really something being here, and you and your crew are incredible!

"Thank you! I feel very lucky to have assembled such a great crew."

And I hear you've recently met someone special, haven't you? Another freighter captain, I understand?

"Yes... we ran into each other a few times, doing parallel runs in the Mook system, and somewhere along the way, we managed to hook up. His name is Coray Gheris."

Captain of the Jovian Skies. What's that ship like, compared to yours?

"Oh, the Jovian is nothing like this... it's tiny! The kind of freighter you use to haul small goods and do a lot of short runs. But small ships have capabilities that big ships like mine, and the big superfreighters, can't match."

I hear he turned out to be a large part of your mission to Shura Dva in The Lens.

"He's what got us there in the first place, in fact. Not that that was his fault, of course. But if not for him, we never would have gotten involved in the problems on Shura Dva. Still, it turned out all right in the end."

And where is Coray now?

"Out on a run. He said he's running 'cow seeds' to Taurus Nine. I'm still trying to figure out what the heck those are."

I got nothin,' sorry. Anyway, I wish you luck with that. I know long-distance relationships can be tough.

"You don't know that half-parsec of it..."

We're back to the common area... oh, hi, Tirri! Taking a break too?

"Waiting for my welds to cool... hi, sweetie!"

"Hey, baby! How's the bay looking?"

"Pretty good. I'll be finished pretty soon, and we'll be ready to head back out."

Do you have another mission planned already?

"No, but we always want to be ready for when somewig comes up..."

Somewig? Carolyn?

"Oh, God, did I say-- Ha ha ha ha ha! I'm sorry, I was looking at... Ann, your wig's on crooked!"

Uh?

"It is? Oh, no! Why didn't someone tell me? Oh, look, it's all touseled on this side--"

Agh! Tirri... your hair! Um, feathers! It's... a wig?

"Well, duh! Of course it is, silly? What, did you think I grew this?"

But... you're bald!

"Oh, yeah. It's too hard to keep my hair when I'm wearing this thing. I usually just put on a regular wig when I go out... then, when filming is over, I'll let my hair grow back in..."

What are you talking about! You're an Avian!

"Uh, no... I'm an actor... from Manchester."

H-wuh?

"Hey, Roland, I'm sorry, but the wig's all messed up, and this eyebrow makeup is killing me... can we redo the scene over my shoulder, so I can get a break from this stuff?"

"Yeh, sure, luv. Everyone, let's go back to page fifteen, an' we can--"

Aaagh! Who are you guys? Where did you come from?

"Oh, lor' luv a duck, here we go again..."

"Steve, calm down! What's wrong?"

Wrong? Wrong! This is supposed to be the Right Brane! I'm in another universe, where my ideas actually exist, so I can interview the embodiment of my characters--

"Blimey, it nevah fails. You give a writer a minnit in front of a camera, and 'e thinks 'e's Olivier..."

"What's going on? Roland, are we resetting?"

"It's okay, Frank, we're just having a go at--"

Mark! Where's your... you're white!

"And... you're not. What? This makeup never stays on for long, I have to re-apply it five or six times a day."

What's going on?!?

"Steve, calm down!"

"Okay, 'at's it! Someone say lunch!"

"Lunch!"

"That's lunch, people! One hour, not a minnit more! Lor' give me strength from writers..."

"Steve, look, as long as we have you here, there's something we need to discuss..."

What's going on? Who are you? Carolyn?

"Oh, stop! Okay? It's Rainy Summers, the girl you hired to replace Dustie Bottoms after she refused to do a Kestral sequel! Now, can we talk?"

Aaahhhhh...

"Look, this has all been fun, y'know? We've done The Lens, we've posed for the posters, we're doing the DVD extras, and I've been measured for those stupid Burger King toys. But we still haven't seen dime one beyond the basic contract agreement for all the residual work, y'know?"

Aaaahhhhhhh...

"Steve--focus! Now, look, this has been a great gig, y'know? But you still owe us, and if we don't get paid, we're pulling the plug on this whole thing! So you need to get Diane on the phone--"

Diane?

"Diane! Your agent, Steve? --and tell her to get on the stick!"

B-but--

"Dude, I passed up a season on CSI St Petersburg to do this bit. You're gonna do right by us, right? 'Cause if you don't, we're gonna have words..."

L-look, Sarander, I don't--

"It's Sonny, all right?!? Sonny! What is this, you're trying to go section eight on us and duck out of your contract?"

Uh--No, no! I--uh--

"Look, just get it done, okay? We got bills to pay!"

Y-yeah... right... sure, sure, guys. Um... I'll call... uh--

"Diane."

--Diane! and get it fixed! Yeah. Today! Yeah. I'll just--

"Where are you going?"

I'm just gonna go and make a call! Yeah! I'm gonna call... back there! Where it's quiet! Besides, the reception sucks in here. So, I'll be right back, okay? I'll be right back...

"What the hell's wrong with him?"

"Writers. They're all flaky as hell. Did they bring in kielbasa today?..."