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You guys, I appreciate your sensitivity and love of animals. I really do. But I'm writing an over-the-top comic thriller. I have changed the first scene (and the rest of the book in fact) to indicate unequivocally that the book is a comedy, but it is also a thriller. A humorous thriller.
Here's the new blub:
Some say she’s a sociopath. Some say she hates men. Some say she just loves animals.
Lainey Tripper is a whiskey-drinking hard-living animal rescue feminist. But she has just this one little problem: she can’t seem to stop killing men. Not all men are so bad, and not a few of them are attracted to her, but when Lainey leaves a rescue, dead men are invariably left in her wake.
Lainey heads FART (Feminist Animal Rescue Team), a group of women dedicated to stopping the villainous Donovan from oppressing women and animals. But now Donovan, intent on world domination, has taken his evil to a new level. He’s systematically stealing Chicago’s dogs to sell them to a foreign power.
In Lainey’s enthusiasm to stop Donovan, she again kills a lot of men. Her fellow FARTers plead with her to moderate her man-killing tendencies, but Lainey’s pretty sure any guy she kills deserves it, and besides, she must do whatever it takes to save Chicago’s dogs.
Will Lainey stop Donovan in time? And when she’s done, will any men be left alive?
I don't think anybody reading that can mistake the book for anything but the silly romp that it is. And, as I said, I've changed the book itself to indicate that.
Here's the new first paragraph:
“Give up, scumbag?” Lainey Tripper had the thug in a headlock. She hadn’t been in a fight like this in ages and was having fun. The guy’s warm saliva ran down her forearm. He was drooling, choking. “Well, do you!”
So I don't think anybody is going to mistake this for a serious book or mistake the violence (or potential violence) towards human beings or animals as being real.
That said, the book, while comic, is also a thriller. And for a thriller to work, the higher the stakes, the better. I could have the antagonist (Donovan) stealing all the puppy treats from all the pet stores in Chicago. And the poor dogs in Chicago would have to go without their treats! Gasp!
You get the idea.
Anybody with a super sensitivity to animals (I've had people tell me this already) is not going to read the book. And that's as it should be.
I love animals. I've had three dogs and one of them I still have dreams about (and I've had like 50 dreams about this dog)!
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