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Plus ... it's my vent/rant. It needn't make sense to you
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Amen to that. Though it does make perfect sense to me, since I am not a fan of that sort of server behaviour. I expect calm politeness and courtesy, with neither obsequiousness or rudeness. Astonishing how hard that can be to find sometimes in North America. As opposed to, say, France, where I found the wait-staff highly professional. Attentive without being in-your-face, and absent when they should be.