Quote:
Originally Posted by gmw
I do know what you mean, but I also think that you've made the whimsy obvious enough already in both the opening sentence and the "one little problem" phrasing. By the time you add "seem to" as well, the reader is battered by whimsy and it just sounds like you're uncertain.
It's quite likely one of those things we might have to agree to disagree on  , but from my own writing I've learned to give every "seem" and "appear" a really stern looking at. |
Ha ha. "Battered by whimsy." I love it. Yeah, I agree but some writer friends reading it don't. And I want to make sure everybody gets it. So I'm going to keep battering them with whimsy.
Thanks.