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The biggest problem for me was that I felt Weir tried a little too hard to find reasons to put technical/scientific stuff in where it didn't add anything to the story. It felt like he was trying to recreate the feel of The Martian. Of course the science was a big part of what drove the story of The Martian where as in Artemis there was just no real need for it.
Have to agree with others in that I didn't care much for Jazz and I really didn't really care one way or another if things worked out. I also agree that she didn't feel at all believable as a female character.
Overall I didn't think too much of it.
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