So...
You ever get into a situation, and suddenly, start looking around for that bottle that says "Drink me?" Or the piece of cake that says "eat me?" Or, hell, that white bunny with the pocketwatch?
You may all recall that of late, I've been having "fun with auditors." I labored over spreadsheets, bank account statements, yadda. Sent in a nice big packet, explaining "you can find this here, and that there..." and so on, right?
TODAY, I get a big long email, asking for things like:
- Cancelled checks, showing that we paid for our health insurance;
- monthly "statements" from Paypal/Stripe;
- Proof of payment for paying my contractors--cancelled checks, you understand.
- More proof of payment for our software services--like my customer service system, project management system, accounting system,
- and so forth.
They ALSO want the contracts between us and our customers. (As if!).
I am still sitting here, gobsmacked to realize that neither the accountant who is representing me, NOR the auditor, has a freaking CLUE about how Internet businesses operate. CLUELESS.
I mean...they want "monthly Paypal and Stripe statements." (more "as if"). I pay probably 90% of my expenses via EFT, Paypal, etc. Not with CHECKS. I most certainly didn't pay for our Health Insurance, or our software services, with CHECKS. I pay via EFT, or ongoing scheduled payments.
What's killing me is, I foresaw SOME (not remotely all) of this, and I told them, things like "if you look in the attached spreadsheet X, you'll see expenses broken out by category. Check the date, and then open the corresponding bank statement for that period, and you'll see the transaction."
I mean...I am literally sitting here envisioning running around to a bazillion different places, to get RECEIPTS for stuff that already bloody has receipts, in the form of recorded payments, ON A BANK ACCOUNT STATEMENT. I mean...how hard is it to look and see that 12 payments were made, in 12 different statements, to BCBS? (Blue Cross, Blue Shield, as an example).
I FURTHER put actual receipts, in a Dropbox, and then linked those, in an Excel sheet, to the various declared expenses.
I mean...WTF? I'm sitting here, thinking that very very shortly, I'm going to look like Telly Savalas.
Hitch, aka
