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JS Wolf: I read the first paragraph that link lead to, and there are several factual inaccuracies (basic human biology). The first one is the statement that sperm "float" around; they don't, they swim, much like tiny tadpoles. But the main one which is repeated is that, to paraphrase, "sperm is transported to the embryo". It's not transported, it swims, and it doesn't attempt to meet an embryo, but an ova. It would be pointless for the little blighters to head for an embryo, because that's already growing into a baby! After that, I gave up on the article, figuring that the rest would be full of biological inaccuracy too.
Dr Drib: I think many of the name tags could be dropped, it's obvious from the action who is speaking. Also, there are many things which only one of those three characters would say such as "Have fun, kids,". Neither of the young people in the passage are going to say that and then pick up a newspaper trying to hide their nervousness regarding Sally's safety. In that way many of the 'saids' could be eliminated.
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